


A Sweet Courtship

by nyghtrain



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Canon - Manga, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-27
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 05:10:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyghtrain/pseuds/nyghtrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A delay in a town on the journey west ends up with strange consequences for the entire Sanzo group and sets the beginning of a bond between Sanzo and Hakkai that they're not sure they'll survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Look Over Here

By the time they arrived in town it was past midnight. They were exhausted, dirty, and tempers were short. After enduring an almost endless stream of attack and then being forced to walk when the road turned into an impossible swampland, the lights from the town had been like water in an oasis. Pushing into the inn, the innkeeper, an elderly woman, looked surprised to see them and took one look at them and went straight to the room keys.

"Four, I take it," she asked.

Sanzo grunted and went for the gold card. She waved him off, giving them all a long and pitying look. "I'll handle it in the morning."

Sanzo frowned as if he wasn't sure whether he trusted her words.

Hakkai ignored this and took the keys. He gave the innkeeper a grateful smile. "Thank you."

She smiled and pointed to the stairs. "Your rooms are on the second floor."

Hakkai nodded and handed out the keys and the ikkou dragged themselves up the stairs. Goku leaned close to Sanzo, his head almost resting against his arm.

"Sanzo, I'm hungry."

"Shut up," Sanzo growled out and it was a testament to how tired Sanzo was that he didn't swat Goku away, merely shoved forward until he reached his room. Without another word the monk opened his door and then firmly shut it behind him.

"Night to you too Cherry-chan!" Gojyo shouted and shook his head. "Dick."

Hakkai simply stared at Sanzo's door before turning away with a sigh. Then jumped when he felt an arm go around his shoulder.

Gojyo looked at him with concern. "You okay 'Kai?"

Hakkai smiled and nodded. "Of course, just a little tired."

Gojyo searched his face and then nodded. "All right, then get some sleep. I'll handle the monkey."

"I'm not a monkey, you..." His words trailed off into snores.

Hakkai stifled a laugh at the sight of Goku asleep against the wall, his body constantly sliding lower. Gojyo walked over and slapped Goku against the back of his head. "You can't sleep in the hall idiot."

Goku's eyes blinked open. "Sanzo," he muttered and then focused on Gojyo. "Oh, it's just you."

Hakkai felt his smile grow a little more strained. No one seemed to notice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gojyo asked and began dragging Goku doing the hall.

"Good night Gojyo, Goku," Hakkai called after them.

Gojyo winked at him while Goku muttered something about perverted water sprites. Hakkai turned and went into his room, locking the door behind him. As soon as the door shut, his tired smile dropped. He rubbed his forehead. What was wrong with him? For some reason he found himself growing irritated about little things, simple everyday things that had never bothered him before and most of it seemed to surround Goku and Sanzo.

At first he figured it was the enclosed space and lack of sleep that was the cause. The only reason Gojyo probably didn't irritate him was because he had lived with him and so had grown used to his habits. Yet, he never felt this way before. It had only grown this bad in the past months after they found Sanzo during their fight against the black Sanzo. So what had triggered it? He wasn't sure and he was too tired to think about it.

He glanced around the room and let out a small sound of pleasure when he spotted the extra room. Hoping his assumption was correct; he first went to the window and opened it. A few seconds later, Hakuryuu flew in and alighted on his shoulder. Jeep 'ku'ed in his ear. Hakkai smiled and scratched under his chin.

"Sorry for the wait, my friend," he nodded at the door. "Shall we investigate?"

A soft ku and a flap of wings was Hakkai's answer. Hakkai walked to the door and opened it.

A happy sigh passed his lips when he saw the shower. The further west they went the more inns had rooms with individual showers. Though Hakkai preferred the open space of the communal baths, the closet like showers were a blessing when they came in late at night. He turned on the water and immediately began stripping, putting his clothes neatly aside. Hakuryuu flew to the edge of the sink and waited.

It didn't take Hakkai long and soon he stepped underneath the warm spray with a soft groan of pleasure. The feel of the dirt and grime being washed away felt like a true weight had been lifted off of him. He turned to Hakuryuu and he flew into the shower, joining Hakkai. Hakuryuu alighted on Hakkai's shoulder, spreading one wing and then the other. Hakkai watched him in amusement as he cooed and enjoyed the water. Then leaned deeper into the water, pressing his head against the shower wall. The harsh beat of the water against his skin thumped down Hakkai's back like a massage. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation and imagined hands running down his back.

Callous fingers stroked down his back, moving lower and lower until they palmed his ass. A rough voice whispered in his ear. "Like that?"

Oh, yes, he did. So much, but he couldn't speak. His voice was too clogged with want and instead a soft whimper fell from his lips. He turned and caught a flash of gold hair...

Hakkai's eyes snapped open. He blinked a couple of times. The water was no longer warm, but quickly turning cold. He sat up and firmly locked the images from his dream away. Hakuryuu had already left the shower while Hakkai dozed. Hakkai turned off the water and went into the bedroom. Hakuryuu was already asleep on the extra pillow. Hakkai pulled on his nightclothes and then sat on the edge of the bed, gently stroking Jeep's flank. The soft puff of pleasure came from the dragon and it leaned into the touch. Hakkai smiled and then stifled a yawn. He still needed to wash his clothes.

Yes, he would do that in a minute. Just... one... moment...

Before he knew it he was fast asleep and if he dreamed of running his hand through gold threads and looking into eyes as deep as amethyst, he made sure to forget it in the morning.

***

He was, of course, the first one up. He considered waking the others in order to collect their dirty clothes, but decided that they could all use the extra sleep. Instead he took a tally of their supplies and tried to think of how to get Sanzo to agree to let them stay long enough for Hakkai to do laundry and a bit of shopping. After deciding his course, he went downstairs, took one look at the coffee and politely talked one of the waitresses into borrowing the kitchen to make coffee and tea.

He set the coffee to brewing and stepped out of the kitchen when he spotted a small vendor come inside the inn. The vendor waved at the innkeeper and then began setting up a small but brightly colored stand. Curious, Hakkai walked over to see his goods.

The man grinned when he saw Hakkai near. "Ah, here for the festival, are you? Then I have the perfect thing for you." He placed a small tray of small chocolate cones in front of him. "I call them kisses."

"Kisses?"

The vendor nodded. "Nothing says I love you as much as a kiss. If you can't do it with lips, why not with chocolate."

"That's an interesting way of looking at it."

"Go ahead and try one. Believe me, they're delicious."

Hakkai hesitated and then picked one from the tray and placed it in his mouth. The chocolate was sweet with just a hint of bitterness as if the man tried to embed the chocolate with the flavor of love.

"So how many do you want?"

Hakkai was going to say he didn't need any, but he could still taste it and before he knew it he had agreed to buy a small bag. The man handed him a premade bag, with the chocolates wrapped in silver foil. "Enjoy!"

Hakkai turned in time to see Sanzo coming towards him with a scowl on his face. He looked at Hakkai, the chocolate, and then the stand.

"Coffee," he barked out and sat down at an empty table.

Hakkai felt a tiny blush start to rise on his cheeks, but dismissed it. There was nothing wrong with buying a bit of chocolate. It would make for a good treat for everyone on the road. Carefully tucking the chocolate away, Hakkai went back to the kitchen and fetched Sanzo's coffee and made himself a cup of tea.

When he returned, he saw Goku had arrived and was already waving to a waitress while Sanzo looked on with annoyance and a hint of amusement. Hakkai felt his smile grow strained once more. He walked over and placed the coffee in front of Sanzo. Sanzo stared at the coffee and raised an eyebrow.

"The inn was quite accommodating when I asked to make it myself," Hakkai said, as he sat down and began sipping his tea.

Sanzo lifted the mug and took a drink and then grunted, which was in Sanzo talk a compliment. Hakkai smiled to himself and continued sipping his tea. By this time, Goku had managed to get the waitresses attention and was ordering a list of foods that seemed like he was in no hurry to end. Sanzo was gritting his teeth harder with each addition. In a flash of white, the harisen was slammed into Goku's head.

"Baka! Are you planning to order the whole menu?"

"But Sanzo, I'm so hungry and I didn't get to eat last night."

"Quit your whining, you stupid monkey," Sanzo gritted out.

This just seemed to fuel Goku's whining.

Hakkai watched it unfold with a mixture of amusement and that itching irritation from before. What was it? The more he watched them the more the irritation grew and he could feel a thought whispering repeatedly in his head.

Look over here. Look over here. Look over here.

Sanzo turned and looked directly into Hakkai's eyes. The words stuttered to a halt. Hakkai blinked, taken off-guard.

"Hakkai, how soon can we get on the road?" Sanzo asked.

Hakkai was a little taken aback, both from Sanzo's sudden attention and the question. "I was thinking I could do a bit of laundry and some shopping."

"Thought as much," Sanzo took out the gold card. "Take care of the inn bill while you're at it and pick me up some smokes. I'm starting to get low."

"Oh, there's no need to pay the inn bill," the waitress piped in. "The innkeeper said to just add a tab for you all until after the festival."

"Festival?" Goku asked excitedly.

Right at that moment, Gojyo strode into the room and plopped down in a chair. "We're staying for a festival? Looks like the monk is finally learning to relax that tight ass of his."

Sanzo glared at Gojyo and then at the waitress. "We're not staying for any festival."

The waitress stepped back and looked at them in confusion.

Hakkai quickly stepped in. "What he means is that we're only passing through."

The waitress face scrunched up in distress. "B-but you can't."

"What the hell does that mean?" Sanzo growled out.

The waitress cringed. "The bridge out of town is closed off so the vendors can use it. No one can pass through until after the festival ends." The waitress must have noticed the growing tension, because she quickly added, "But the festival only lasts until tomorrow evening."

Sanzo looked like he was about to blow up at the waitress, so Hakkai gently thanked her and she scurried off. He turned to Sanzo.

"I'll check if there's another route. At worst we'll only be here for an extra day or two. It'll give me a chance to get supplies and do a few chores."

Hakkai's words seemed to ease Sanzo a little, but the tension was still radiating off him. Every delay brought that out in Sanzo, especially one where he was practically trapped. Finally, Sanzo nodded.

"Take the monkey with you."

"That's not necessary," Hakkai said.

The table grew quiet. Hakkai realized that maybe he had spoke too quickly. "I'm sure Goku and Gojyo want to check out the festivities. I can handle the shopping on my own. It's not that much."

"Oh, can I Sanzo?" Goku asked, excited.

Sanzo looked at Hakkai then at Goku. "Whatever. Do what you want. Just don't get in my way."

Goku let out a yelp of excitement and then started to ramble off all the food he planned on trying. Right then, the waitress came with breakfast and everyone once again fell into their normal routine. Hakkai sipped at his tea and ate little. As they finished up, Hakkai hurried up and left the table, making his excuses.

He had just grabbed the laundry from Sanzo and Goku's rooms and was getting Gojyo's when he felt a familiar presence behind him.

"Ah, Gojyo. You need anything while I'm out," Hakkai said, not turning around

"I could always use smokes," Gojyo said.

"Of course," Hakkai said and clutched the clothes to him and turned, trying to walk pass him.

Gojyo grabbed his arm. "You okay Hakkai?"

"Yes, Gojyo. Why wouldn't I be?" Hakkai said, not meeting his eyes.

Gojyo held on to him for a moment and then let go. "If you say so, but might want to be careful. The chibi is more sensitive than he looks."

Hakkai didn't answer. He walked away, but he could feel Gojyo's eyes on him until he disappeared down the stairs.


	2. News

It looked like Hakkai was infected with whatever idiocy the monkey and kappa had. It was the only reason Sanzo could see for why Hakkai thought that lame ass excuse he used about letting Goku enjoy the festival even passed muster. Usually he would have ignored the whole thing, but the problem was that it was Hakkai and for some reason that damn cockroach depended on him and Goku will eventually start whining to him. It was better to nip things in the bud, before it became one huge headache. The only problem was that Sanzo wasn't sure what the hell the healer's issue was.

"Che, like I care, " he grumbled to himself and finished off his coffee.

Goku was still swallowing down breakfast, which was a mixture of deep-fried twisted dough sticks, zongai with sweet bean paste, and western omelets with diced ham, cheese, and sautéed mushrooms. Sanzo watched it all with a sense of disgusted, before his eyes drifted to the stairs. The cockroach went up there a few minutes ago. Leave it to that one to sniff out anything wrong with Hakkai. Still, he was surprised that the pervert hadn't noticed it sooner. This had been going on ever since the fight with Ukoku. Sanzo had even checked Hakkai's chi to see if the black Sanzo had left a gift behind, but it looked like whatever was wrong with the healer was all him.

"Stupid bastards," he muttered and then noticed that the sounds of the saru's eating had stopped.

He turned to see Goku staring down at his plate. "Hey Sanzo, do you think Hakkai-"

"You better not ask me any stupid questions," Sanzo growled out, cutting him off.

Goku rubbed his head and laughed. "Yeah, I guess that was pretty stupid." Then he started eating again.

For a moment, the only sound at the table was Goku swallowing down dish after dish, until the rattle of empty plates showed that he was done. He leaned back and patted his stomach.

"I can't wait to see what sort of food they'll have at the festival. They'll probably have meat buns and dumplings and..."

Sanzo wiped out his fan and smacked Goku on the head. "Shut up!"

"Oww, Sanzo," Goku whined.

Sanzo ignored him and shoved away from the table and shook out a cigarette. He paused. "Goku, if you want snacks you better follow Hakkai."

Goku grew quite then shook his head. "Nah. I still have money from before. Don't worry about me."

Sanzo grunted. "Like I would." He stepped outside and lit up. He took a long drag and looked out at the town. People were busy decorating their shops. Whatever the festival was, it was a big deal.

As he stood there smoking a few people paused to look at him. A dark scowl soon had them scurrying away. He took another drag and noticed a man putting up flyers. Sanzo narrowed his eyes. The man nodded to him and then placed a flyer by the end, before walking away. Sanzo read it.

Welcome to the Festival of Love and Memories!  
Please join us for food, games, and alcohol as we celebrate this special time of year.  
Remember to come to the tomorrow's night gala where you can share beautiful memories with your love ones or create new ones.

Sanzo snorted and snubbed out his smoke. So that's what this whole festival was about. He thought about Hakkai and the bag of chocolate he bought. The slight red to his cheeks had made his green eyes look brighter. It was rare to see Hakkai embarrassed. Most of the time he just laughed things off, not the least bit repentant. Maybe he had got caught up in the festival. Love and Memories.

Sanzo shook his head. "Worthless." He walked back into the inn and to his room.

***

Hakkai shifted his bags. They felt heavier than they should. Or perhaps it was guilt that made his arms feel heavy. Gojyo's words weaseled in his mind. Goku. He tightened his grip on the bags. Goku was innocent in all this. He acted like he always did and before the change inside Hakkai, he always sort of admire Goku. The sweet honesty of the boy and his willingness to barrel forward no matter the circumstances. Goku was a mixture of hope and faith that Hakkai had never had and never could hope to grasp in his stained soul. Goku was growing up. He wasn't just the child they always taken him for. If he was honest, Goku hadn't been a child for a very long time. He's matured, but even so he still maintained that undying faith and hope. What must it be like?

Hakkai stopped and felt a breeze brush over his skin. People walked passed him. Laughter and excited voice mixed together in delight. The scent of fried bread was so thick Hakkai could almost taste the cinnamon on his tongue. He could imagine Goku sniffing the air before dashing from one food stall to the next. Goku. Was that it? Was he jealous? Jealous that Goku was something bright that he could never be? No, that wasn't it. It was tied to something else. A touch here. A scowl gentling to a smile that only someone watching could see. Someone who was always watching. Was he-

Hakkai jerked forward as something slammed against him. He managed to catch himself and turned. Giggling kids ran by, one shouting out a quick 'sorry' as they dashed towards a puppet stand. Hakkai sighed and then laughed softly to himself. The thought eating at the corners of his mind was tucked away. He turned and continued towards the specialty store he heard about at the last shop. He stopped in front of Cheng's Tobacco. He shook his head. It was rare to see a shop that specializes in ways to ruin your lungs. He sighed and went inside.

The sharp scent of tobacco and herbs filled his nostrils. The shop was neat and labeled with special brands of tobacco categorized by region. Along one section were special pipes and Hakkai found himself drawn to them despite himself. He fingered one, looking over the exquisite craftsmanship. He tried to imagine Gojyo smoking a pipe and then let out a small laugh. Ridiculous. He imagined Sanzo with one and grinned. It suited him a little too well. Hakkai looked around and found a case of Hi-Lites and Marlboros. He walked around a shelf and noticed a newspaper stand. Sanzo would probably appreciate a more up-to-date newspaper. He reached down to grab one when he heard the door open. He straightened up and saw a familiar flash of gold.

Surprise he turned. "San-" Hakkai stuttered to a halt when he met green eyes. Eyes so green and familiar it was like looking at his own. His gaze shifted and he was taking in the sight of her face. He drank it in at the same time as his mind wanted to repel the image.

Kanan.

She stepped forward and reached out. Her hand slid over his cheek. "Are you okay? You look like you're about to pass out."

The voice was different and the difference was jarring enough to knock Hakkai out of his trance. He took in a long breath and plastered a smile on his face. Gently, he took the woman's wrist and pulled her hand away from his cheek.

"I'm sorry. I guess lack of sleep is catching up with me," Hakkai said and released her wrist.

She frowned at him as if she didn't quite believe him. Then nodded. "If you're sure."

"Thank you for your concern," Hakkai said politely.

The woman smiled and then went to the counter, talking to the clerk about a pipe. She began gesturing and the clerk moved away from the counter to a ladder. Soon the clerk was up, pointing at pipes as the woman shook her head. "No. The one to the right."

Hakkai set his purchases on the counter and waited for the clerk to finish, while his gaze flitted to the girl. Despite the striking resemblance to Kanan, there were some differences. Her hair was the main one. It was not the warm brown of his sister's, but a bright gold that he had only seen on one other person. Her voice was playful, but with a sort of husky tone to it instead of the lightness of Kanan, but her smile was just the same. Hakkai turned his head away from the sight and turned back to the corner. He considered leaving and coming back another day, but then he would have to explain to Sanzo why he hadn't picked up his cigarettes.

Instead, he searched for something to distract him until his eyes fell on a small picture frame surrounded in red. Inside the frame was a picture of a man. Hakkai frowned. He had seen similar frames in several of the shops he visited today. He figured it had something to do with the festival. He was drawn from his thoughts by a tap on the shoulder. He turned and was once again accosted by familiar green eyes.

She raised her hands, brandishing two pipes. "Which one do you like better?"

Hakkai blinked and then laughed nervously. "I'm not really a good judge. I don't smoke."

She raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at the cases of cigarettes on the counter. Hakkai raised his hands defensively. "Ah. Those aren't mine. Really. I'm picking them up for some friends."

She nodded and then a soft pout appeared on her face. "Still, which one? I need a man's opinion. It's for my grandfather. I accidentally broke his last one."

"Perhaps the clerk would be better."

She looked shrewdly at the clerk and then back at Hakkai. "I don't know if he'll just try to get me to buy the higher priced one. Please, I need a male's aesthetic."

Hakkai sighed, but couldn't help smiling a little at the woman's determination. He studied the pipe, One a dark ebony with a silver steam and the other a classic terracotta finish with a black steam. He pointed to the terracotta one. "I suppose that one."

She nodded. "Simple, but elegant." She nodded at the clerk who rang her up.

Hakkai waited for her to finish and then watched as his own packages were rang up. He paid and started to grab the bag when pale hands flitted forward and took it. Hakkai blinked and looked at the woman who was now holding his bag. The gold bangles around her wrist clinked against each other.

"I'll carry it," she said

"That won't be necessary," Hakkai said, reached for the bag.

She shook her head and took a step back. "Your hands are already full, besides didn't you say you were tired."

Hakkai opened his mouth to protest, but the woman was already halfway out of the door. He hurried after her and then fell into step next to her.

"You're from out of town, aren't you? Here for the festival?" she asked, smiling.

He nodded, resigning himself to his new companion. "I suppose I am."

She tilted her head and smiled. "Must be your first time."

He gave her a quizzical look. "How did you know?"

"Usually, people who have been to the festival before are very excited."

Hakkai chuckled. "Maybe I'm just good at hiding it."

She shook her head. "No, I can tell." She turned and began walking backwards as she spoke. She swung the bag from side to side, causing the bangles to let off a high but pleasant clink as she moved. "People who have been to the festival have a certain look about them. It's like joy and sadness all mixed together. You though, you only have the sadness."

Hakkai stiffened.

The woman frowned and then started to say something when her foot slipped and she tilted backwards. Hakkai rushed forward and caught her. His arms wrapped around her as he pulled her up. She turned to him in surprise and then gave him a soft smile.

"Sorry."

Once again the breath was pulled away from Hakkai as he looked into her face. Kanan. He gently pulled away from her and they began walking again. When they reached the inn, Hakkai couldn't help feeling a soft sigh of relief. He turned to the woman with a smile.

"Thank you for your help," he said politely.

She held out the bag. "You're welcome."

He took the bag and with a smile turned back to the inn.

"Wait," she said.

Hakkai was tempted to ignore her, but somehow he couldn't. Maybe it was because of his deeply bred politeness or maybe it was because he couldn't push away one last glance at a face that he thought he would never see again. So he turned.

"Yes?"

"I never introduced myself."

Hakkai stiffened once more. He felt himself leaning in, waiting for a name to fall from her lips.

"I'm Min Sung," she said. "I'm sorry for intruding on you and for saying anything to bother you. My grandfather says I tend to speak too quickly."

Hakkai smiled, a mixture of relief and disappointment filling him. "My name is Cho Hakkai. It's very nice to meet you Min Sung."

At his words a radiant smile crossed her face. "Thank you for helping me pick a pipe for my grandfather." Then with a wave, she dashed off.

Hakkai watched her, a little bemused. What an odd girl. Still, for some reason, he didn't feel the heaviness from before. He stepped into the inn and caught sight of the innkeeper at the counter. Remembering his promise to Sanzo, he approached her.

"Hello. At breakfast we were informed that the route through the town was blocked due to the festival."

The innkeeper nodded. "It's shut down to allow vendors to set up stalls, but it'll reopen late tomorrow evening."

Hakkai figured as much. He had managed to cheek the pass himself when he went shopping. "Is there another way we can take out?"

"You're not staying for the festival?" The innkeeper asked, surprised.

Hakkai shook his head. "We were only planning to pass through."

"Ah, I see. " She rubbed at her chin. "Well you can always go around, but it'll take you about three or four days, because of the swamplands."

Hakkai sighed, but kept his smile. It looked like they really were stuck until after the festival.

The innkeeper chuckled. "Ah, think of it as an opportunity to enjoy the festivities. It's quite popular."

"Yes, I noticed. Is it ever year?"

She shook her head. "Once every three years. It brings in a lot of business and a lot of sweethearts, but I think most people like it for the memories."

"Yes, it seems an odd combination. Love and memories," Hakkai said.

"Not really," the innkeeper said and looked at a red frame. It was the same red frame he saw in shops. In this one was a little girl no older than four. "Her name is Ping. She was such a good child. She would spend hours singing at the top of her lungs whatever song had caught her fancy. It was terrible. There wasn't a worst singer. She was four when she was struck down with pneumonia." The innkeeper ran her finger over the frame. "I would do anything to hear her singing again."

Hakkai thought of Min. The face that looked so much like his sister.

The innkeeper smiled up at him. "Sometimes I think the love for a memory is the strongest love there is."

A snort came from behind him. "How is that strong? If you're always looking back, how can you move forward?"

"Sanzo," Hakkai said with a disapproving look and turned to the monk. "I don't think any of us can judge people for looking at the past."

Sanzo glared at him and held out his hand. "Smokes?"

Hakkai sighed and then handed him his cigarettes and they began walking away from the counter, with Hakkai giving the innkeeper an apologetic smile.

Sanzo grunted. "What you find out?"

"The only other option is to go around the village which would take an extra three to four days. I think it'll be best if we just wait for the festival to be over."

Sanzo's scowl darkened. "Fine, but you better keep those two idiots out of my hair."

Hakkai looked at Sanzo, amused. "Of course, but are you sure you don't want to join in the festivities. I'm sure there is even something you might like around."

Sanzo frowned. "Love and Memories. What a bunch of crap."

Hakkai chuckled. Sometimes Sanzo was just so predictable and a little hypocritical. Moving forward? Hakkai slid his hand into his sash, where he had stuffed the chocolate from earlier. He took out a single chocolate kiss then fished out the newspaper.

"Sanzo," Hakkai said.

"What?"

Hakkai handed him the newspaper with the chocolate kiss on top of it.

Sano narrowed his eyes and took the paper and then lifted up the kiss. "What the hell is this?"

"Something to sweeten your less than sunny disposition," he said cheerfully.

"Hakkai, don't make me shoot you."

"Ha, ha, ha."

Just then there was a loud commotion as the two missing ikkou stepped into the inn. Gojyo and Goku elbowed each other as the pushed inside.

"Watch where you're going, stupid monkey," Gojyo yelled.

"I was here first! You would have noticed if you weren't so busy flirting, perverted cockroach," Goku said.

"It's not my fault if the girls know a real man when they see one," Gojyo said with a leer.

Goku started making gagging sounds and then his attention quickly diverted as he spotted Sanzo. "Sanzo, I'm hungry."

In a blur of speed, the white paper fan slammed down on Goku's head. "You just got back from eating at the stalls!"

Goku rubbed his head. "But those were just snacks."

The fan came down once again with a vengeance. "Stupid gluttonious-"

"Now, now," Hakkai said. "Dinner will be soon. Perhaps we can go out. I came across a Dim Sum restaurant while I was shopping."

Goku grinned up at Hakkai, grateful, and then looked back at Sanzo. "Can we, Sanzo? Please, please."

Sanzo gritted his teeth and the fan came down again.

Hakkai watched the pair and some of the tightness from before loosened.

Gojyo slung an arm around Hakkai's shoulder. "So when did you start picking up chicks?"

Hakkai blinked and looked at Gojyo in bewilderment. "Excuse me?"

Gojyo held out a letter. "A pretty little thing was standing outside. Seems like she was trying to decide whether to go in or not so she can give a certain someone this."

Hakkai frowned. "Me?" then it dawned on him. "Min Sung." He took the letter and opened it.

It was good to meet you Cho Hakkai. I hope I didn't bother you too much. If not, then I hope to see you at the gala tomorrow night. I run a stand there. Do you like sparklers?

-Min

"Hehe. Sparklers? Cute."

"Now, Gojyo, there's nothing wrong with them," Hakki said as he neatly folded the letter.

"Yeah, as long as you're a kid or a chick."

"Hey Sanzo, what's that?" Goku said, drawing Hakkai attention.

"None of your damn business," Sanzo said, trying to shake Goku off his arm.

"No fair, Sanzo. Where did you get chocolate from?" Goku said, sniffing out the chocolate kiss.

Hakkai watched the pair, his gaze fixed on the chocolate kiss that Sanzo held.

"Speaking of kids and chicks."

There was a flash of silver and a loud bang. "You want to say that again."

Gojyo stiffened as the bullet whizzed by. "What the hell, you damn monk?"

"Sanzo, Sanzo."

A vein began to throb in Sanzo's forehead.

Hakkai knew he should step in, but he couldn't move. He couldn't stop staring at the chocolate kiss.

"Would you all shut the hell up?" Sanzo yelled and more shots punctured the air.

One shot came dangerously close to Gojyo's left ear. The red head clamped his mouth shut.

Sanzo turned and shoved the chocolate kiss into Goku's mouth. "There, have the damn thing and leave me the hell alone." He stalked to the stairs. "I don't want to be disturbed until dinner, Hakkai."

"Yes Sanzo," Hakkai said softly.

The monk vanished up the stairs while Goku sat back, chewing happily on the chocolate.

Hakkai's smile tightened and he heard the crunch of paper. He looked down at the letter, partly crushed in his hand. Calmly, he smoothed it out and then tucked it away.

"So, you're going to meet her tomorrow or what?" Gojyo asked.

"Perhaps," Hakkai said.

Gojyo blinked, obviously not expecting that answer. "Well what do you know? I never thought you were one for blondes."

Hakkai just chuckled and if there was a hint of something bitter underneath, no one noticed.


	3. Jolt!

Hakkai walked into Sanzo's room, a case of beer held tightly in his hand. "Are you sure you won't come with us?"

Sanzo grunted and turned the page in his newspaper in response. Hakkai smiled to himself. Though it had surprised him a little that Sanzo had refused to join them, he knew the temptation to just sit back and relax without the other members of their little group was hard to resist. Sanzo had been on edge lately. Hakkai didn't know whether it was the delay or the festival that was bothering him. Of course, it was possible that it was his own behavior. Even though Sanzo hadn't said anything to him, he was aware that it probably hadn't gone unnoticed. Hakkai sat the beer on the table. In one hand was another kiss. Perhaps it was silly to give Sanzo these pieces of chocolate, but he couldn't help himself. It was just one act, a short release for the emotions that were building inside. Tomorrow morning they would be leaving and Hakkai promised himself he would try to leave these feelings he had behind him. He placed the chocolate kiss on top of the beer.

"There's a beer garden if you change your mind," Hakkai said and turned.

Sanzo held out the gold card, his face still intent on his newspaper. Hakkai took the gold card. For a moment he hesitated. An overwhelming feeling overcame him and suddenly he didn't want to go. He wanted to stay and just read a book and feel the strange calming presence of the monk.

"Tell the cockroach and the monkey that we're leaving bright and early tomorrow. No excuses."

"Of course. Enjoy your paper, Sanzo." He walked away, shutting the door behind him. Outside the hall, he waited until he heard the pop of the beer tab being opened. No rustle of foil followed. Hakkai sighed and went downstairs.

"Oh, what's this for, monkey?"

"Let go of me you stupid pervert."

"Hey, you're the one putting the moves on me."

Hakkai blinked at the sound of the conversation. When he reached the lobby, Gojyo had Goku in a headlock and was ruffling his hair while Goku tried to struggle out of the pin with a slight blush on his cheek.

"Oh my, I see the love part of the festival has already started," Hakkai said as he walked over.

Gojyo blinked and immediately shoved Goku away. "Maybe for the monkey."

"Oh?" Hakkai asked, arching an eyebrow.

"It's not like that!" Goku yelled, his cheeks heated. "I just, you know, thought it would be nice to get some chocolate. And that guy said that chocolate is a good way to show a person how much you like them."

"Sorry, monkey, but I only go for the chicks," Gojyo said, laughing.

Goku glared at him and then with determination, walked to Hakkai and held out his hand. "Here."

In his hand was a chocolate kiss. Hakkai's eyes widened in surprise and for a minute he could only stare. He must have been staring for a while, because Goku's anxious voice came to him.

"It's not like what the pervert said. I mean, it's the festival for good memories and, well, we've all been through a lot together. So I thought..."

Hakkai plucked the chocolate kiss from Goku's hand. He looked at the youngest member of their group and gave him a smile filled with warmth. "Thank you Goku."

Goku's shoulders sagged with relief and a smile split his face. "See. Hakkai understands. He's not gross like you."

"Hey! I get it," Gojyo said, punching Goku in the arm.

Goku punched him back and a few minutes later they were both gritting their teeth and punching each other back and forth. Hakkai watched them for a bit then unwrapped the chocolate and took a bite. It was just as good as the first time he had tried it. He smiled. Yes, it was probably best if he left his feelings for Sanzo behind. Especially after the way he had been treating Goku. He knew what it was, even if he had tried to deny it. He was a possessive man, even over someone who wasn't his. His feelings would surely be rejected if Sanzo knew about them. Plus, Goku didn't deserve the harsh treatment Hakkai had been handing out. He slipped the last bite of chocolate into his mouth. It was bitter and sweet, like a memory. He stepped past the arguing pair and out of the inn.

"Hey Hakkai! Don't leave us," Goku whined behind him.

Gojyo followed and nudged him in the side. "In a rush to see your girl?"

Hakkai sighed. "She is not 'my girl.' Just a nice woman I met."

"Sure," Gojyo said with a wink.

Hakkai ignored him and began walking down the street. The streets were clogged with girls dressed in everything from kimonos to more western-style dresses. A few men wore yukatas, but most just wore regular clothes as they milled together. All around them were stalls and small tables. Goku shot forth, rushing to food stalls, asking Hakkai to buy him this and that. Surprisingly, Gojyo didn't wander off. He teased Goku and stole his food when he wasn't looking. Hakkai smiled, enjoying the atmosphere. Everyone was welcoming and there was growing anticipation in the air.

The decorations around the festival were a combination of red and gold, with dashes of green. Phoenixes were painted on everything. In a way it looked more like the decorations for a wedding than a festival. Hakkai frowned a little.

"Hey, what's that?" Goku said and shot ahead of them into a thick crowd.

"The chimp's gone wild without its master," Gojyo said.

Hakkai glanced at Gojyo. "I'm actually surprised you haven't wandered off."

"Don't worry about me. I plan to have my fun. Right now, I'm just taking in the selection," Gojyo said.  
"Is that so?" Hakkai said.

"Yeah, so if you want to take off with that girl of yours, feel free. I'll take care of the monkey. After all, sometimes even the nursemaid needs a break."

Hakkai blinked and turned to Gojyo, but Gojyo kept his attention fixed ahead. It dawned on Hakkai that Gojyo had stayed with him because he was worried. He smiled and looked ahead.

"I suppose we should find out what caught Goku's attention."

"Probably more food to fill that bottomless pit he calls a stomach," Gojyo said.

Hakkai had to agree with him. They walked in the direction Goku had darted. Hakkai noticed that most of the people from the festival were in this area. In front of them was a small stage with two wooden thrones and a large gong, but no one was on the stage. Instead everyone was clustered around a long table covered with red lanterns. A few seconds later, they spotted Goku examining one of the lanterns. Hakkai hurried over.

"Hey Hakkai. Can we do this?"

"What is it?" Hakkai asked.

Gojyo swatted Goku and leaned on Hakkai's shoulder. "Yeah, I was sure you would be more interested in food than some paper lanterns."

"See what you know, cockroach. These are sky lanterns."

"Oh," Hakkai said, leaning closer.

The man behind the table smiled at Hakkai. "I'm guessing you guys are new here." He pointed at the lanterns. "You pick a lantern for a loved one you want to remember. When the festival goddess chooses her mate, the gong will sound and then all the sky lanterns will be released to carry your message to your loved one."

"So that's what those chairs are for," Gojyo said.

Hakkai chuckled. "Ah, Gojyo. Are you nervous you might get picked?"

Goku peered at Hakkai. "Does that mean Gojyo has to stay here if he gets picked?"

"Hmm, I wonder," Hakkai said.

"Like that would happen!" Gojyo yelled.

Hakkai placed his hand on Gojyo's arm. "Good luck."

"Kai!"

Hakkai chuckled, but then noticed that Goku was strangely quiet. He placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Goku?"

Goku looked up at him. "Do you think it really works?"

Hakkai smiled. "Shall we try it out?"

Goku grinned. "Yeah."

They each bought a lantern and put their names on it. Goku even bought one for Sanzo. Strangely enough, they didn't put the name of a loved one on it. The merchant explained that the heart decides not the mind and only the name of the sender was needed so the loved one would know who the message was from. It was all very strange, but Hakkai thought it had a beautiful symbolism to it. Just as they were finishing up, Hakkai caught sight of a sparkler. Several kids were running around with them in their hands. Hakkai looked around and then spotted the stall. Min was standing there dressed in a white and green kimono, her blonde hair flowing down her back, instead of tied up like tradition. It made her stand out, like a beam of sunlight in the darkness.

"Looks like you finally found her," Gojyo said from behind him. "Going to say hi?"

"Ha, ha, ha. She looks like she's busy. I wouldn't want to disturb her." Just as Hakkai finished his sentence, Min looked up. For an instant their eyes met and then she waved.

"Spotted," Gojyo said with a chuckle.

Hakkai gave him a warning look and then walked over. It wasn't lost on him that Gojyo had followed him. He was starting to rethink the idea that Gojyo was worried about him and mostly was fascinated with the idea that Hakkai might actually be interested in a girl. If only he knew the truth.

When he reached the stall, Hakkai was again struck by the familiarity of her face. She looked so much like Kanan. It hurt to look at her, but he couldn't quite manage to turn away. She smiled at him.

"You made it," she said brightly. "I was worried you didn't get my message."

Gojyo leaned forward with a leer. "Don't you worry. I always deliver, especially when a beautiful woman is involved."

Min blushed.

Hakkai elbowed Gojyo in the gut. "Ha, ha."

"Hey Hakkai. These look pretty cool," Goku said, staring as an older man at the stall handed a kid a sparkler.

"Would you like to try one?" Min asked and plucked up an unlit sparkler and handed it to Goku.

Goku peered at Min closely. They all watched as Min lit the sparkler and it came to life in a flicker of colored sparks. Goku immediately began twirling it, watching the lights cut a path in the air.

"Like I said, children and chicks," Gojyo said.

Min handed a lit sparkler to Gojyo. "Thank you for delivering the letter for me. It must have seemed strange."

Gojyo took the lit sparkler, a little off guard, but quickly recovered. "Anything for a beautiful lady."

Hakkai tilted his head and tapped his jaw. "So does that make you a child or a woman, Gojyo?"

Gojyo sputtered as he tried to come back with a response.

Hakkai chuckled and turned to Min. "How much are they?"

"There's no need to pay. Take it as a thank you," Min said.

"A thank you?" Hakkai asked. "Shouldn't I be the one saying that? You're the one who helped carry my bag."

She smiled. "Not for that. I accidentally left a box of sparklers at the shop. I was hoping you might accompany me to get it. "

Hakkai hesitated. He didn't want to give Min the wrong idea. Despite what Gojyo might say, Hakkai was not interested in one-night stands. Hakkai searched for a polite way to decline when Gojyo slapped a hand on his back, and shoved him forward. "Sure he will. I'll take care of the monkey. You two have fun."

"Gojyo, I don't think-"

"Bye, 'Kai. Have fun!" Gojyo said and hurried away with Goku.

Hakkai promised to get Gojyo back for that.

"Ready?" Min asked, smiling up at him.

Again Hakkai was struck by just how familiar that smile was. Before he knew it, he was nodding. "Yes."

Min walked beside him, pointing out different things as they passed. As they went, Hakkai began to learn more and more about the festival. "It is said that the festival goddess comes down disguised as a human and chooses a mate among the festival attendees. After she picks her mate, she blesses the festival."

"What type of blessing?" Hakkai asked, noticing that the crowd was growing thinner as they moved closer to the closed shops.

"A blessing of the heart," Min said.

"Ah, you mean the lanterns," Hakkai said with a smile.

Min gave him a secretive smile. "Perhaps." She then stepped in front of the shop door and unlocked it. They stepped inside. It was dark, but Hakkai's eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness.

"Min, should we put on the lights?"

"I never can find the switch. Don't worry. It'll only take me a second," she said.

Hakkai stepped further into the dark shop, feeling like a thief instead of someone invited. He looked at the shelves filled with different knick-knacks; it was one of those shops that had a mixture of knick-knacks that no one really needed. It was a perfectly normal shop, but somehow Hakkai felt off. Something was wrong. He stepped further into the shop.

"Min?"

Silence followed and then warm arms wrapped around him. "Hakkai," she breathed out.

Hakkai stiffened and then promised he would make sure to get Gojyo back for this. "Min, I'm sorry. I think you've gotten the wrong idea."

She buried her face into his back and laughed. "Did I?"

He started to turn to explain, but she pressed closer and her arms tightened. "A perfect gentleman. I never expected to come across such a polite youkai."

Hakkai didn't answer. Was she a youkai? That meant she must be wearing limiters. Was she an assassin or just a human that recognized what he was? Hakkai readied himself to move, building the chi in his hands.

"Uh un, none of that."

The arms around him squeezed. He heard the clink of Min's bangles and then a sharp clatter as they fell to the ground. Hakkai twisted in her arms, pushing his chi forward just as something stabbed him in the sides. His entire body went rigid and then he was falling. He slammed into the ground.

"That was close. You really do surpass expectations, Hakkai."

He tried to move, but he was paralyzed. Hands were on him, turning him over and he looked into Min's face. She still looked like Kanan. She still had the flowing golden hair, but now where her arms should have been were two green spiked forelegs. She reached down and brushed one against his forehead.

"I couldn't ask for a better mate. You are truly magnificent." She brushed the spiked forelegs across his limiters. "I want to see you in your true form, but not here. We don't want to cause an alarm."

She grasped him and then tossed him over her shoulder. "Soon."

She began walking. His body hung loosely as she carried him out of the deserted shop and towards the swamplands. As they moved all he could make out was her back, clad in the white and green kimono. The green leaves stared back and he realized that they weren't all leaves, but instead held thin stick-like bodies. It all came together then. The festival, the goddess in search of a mate, all of it was simply a hunt and it looked like he had been picked.

The sound of a gong filled the air as the praying mantis slipped into the swamp.

***

Something was bothering Gojyo, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He stubbed out his cigarette and lit another one. He glanced over at Goku who was eating his third (or was it his fourth?) cone of cotton candy. He looked back at the crowd, trying to catch sight of neat brown hair and a white sash. Nothing. Why was he looking for Hakkai? He was probably having fun with that blonde chick. Gojyo ran a hand through his hair. Maybe it was time to ditch the monkey and find his own special kind of entertainment.

"Hey Gojyo," Goku said, looking up from his half-eaten cotton candy.

Something must really be on the monkey's mind to get him to stop chewing. Gojyo took a drag from his cigarette. "Yeah, what is it?"

"That girl that Hakkai went off with. Did she seem strange to you?" Goku asked.

"It was weird she picked Kai when she could have me, but I don't mind sharing once in a while," Gojyo said.

Goku rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. No one would pick you instead of Hakkai. He's nice, better-looking, and he doesn't smell bad."

Gojyo gritted his teeth and then grabbed Goku. He put him in a headlock and gave him a noogie. "Want to say that again, chimp?"

"Don't call me that!" Goku shouted and tried to get loose, but Gojyo had the best pins around.

He grinned and watched the monkey struggle. "So what was weird about her?"

Goku grimaced. "I don't know. She sort of looked like Hakkai."

"Looked like Hakkai?" Gojyo asked, loosening his headlock.

Goku wrenched free and rubbed his head. "Yeah."

Gojyo felt this dread build in his stomach. "You remember where that sparkler stand was?"

Goku nodded. Then they were both hurrying towards it. When they got there, there was no sign of Hakkai or the girl. Gojyo went to the other stall worker. "Hey, where's the chick that was working here with you?"

Before the man could answer a jolt surged through Gojyo's body. Power he had never felt before rushed through him. Beside him Goku stiffened.

"You feel that?" Gojyo asked.

"Yeah."

The sound of a gong filled the air and then the crowds around them began to murmur in excitement. Gojyo looked up. Hundreds of red sky lanterns began to float into the air. He felt the power shift and he turned back to the crowd and gaped. People suddenly appeared everywhere. They looked like ghosts at first, but gradually became solid.

"What the hell?" Gojyo turned to Goku, but he wasn't there. He looked around and he was no longer standing at the festival. He stood in a large field covered with red flowers.

He saw a flash of white from the corner of his eye and turned. He could only gape at what he saw. He blinked, trying to decide whether it was real. Gojyo stared at himself picking red flowers for a mother who didn't want them -- didn't want him. 

"This day, huh." He wanted to tell the kid to just forget, to just let it be, but his throat was clogged. All he could do was watch. He watched himself pick each flower with care, making sure none had broken leaves or torn petals. Each one needed to be perfect to make up for his existence. He didn't know then that nothing could fix bad luck. You just had to ride it out until the end.

The scene shifted and he was back in that house. Small hands held out red flowers, hope shining in his eyes when he should have long been past hoping. He was a stupid kid. The slap, the claws. The marks burned against his cheek even though they had long stopped being tender. He knew what came next. He knew, but part of him still hoped that this fucked up memory he was stuck in would change. Yeah, maybe, he was still stupid, still hoping for the impossible.

"I don't want to see this shit," he said, gritting his teeth. Didn't he already see it enough in dreams, in flashes of crying women? He closed his eyes willing it away.

"You don't have to look." Warm hands slid over his cheek and he opened his eyes in surprise.

It wasn't his mother looking at him. Instead he stared into red eyes and wavy red hair. His eyes widened and then softened. He shook his head. "You're sure one to talk."

She smirked and looked away. At that moment Gojyo noticed they were back in the field of red flowers. She leaned back. "I guess hanyous really are bad luck."

Gojyo rested his arms on his knees and hung his head down. His entire body shuddered and he tried to hold all the emotions back. He didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry and was too afraid to find out which one would come bursting forth. "You don't have to tell me that."

For a moment, they didn't say anything. He just sat there, trying to pull it all back inside, but feeling like he was too full. So what happened when there were no more places to hide?

"So what are you going to do about you bad luck?" she asked.

Even as a dead chick she had a sexy voice. He laughed and looked at her. She wasn't looking at him, but was staring at the field of red flowers. Gojyo turned and looked at those red flowers.

She sighed and then fell back. "I've always been sort of partial to red."

He stared at her then shook his head. "Looks like death has made you mellow," Gojyo said and pulled out a fresh cigarette and lit it. His hand only shook a little.

"You didn't answer my question," she said, stretching like a playful kitten.

Gojyo stared at her for a while then looked back at the field of red flowers. The answer was there, dancing in his mind. All he had to do was say it and this shitty dream would be over. She would be gone.

He took a long drag on his cigarette and then let the smoke slide out. "Can't you let a guy enjoy his smoke?"

She snorted and then started to laugh. Gojyo sat there and savored his cigarette while looking at a field of red flowers and listening to a stupid woman laugh.

***

"Gojyo! Gojyo!" Goku looked around, but there was nobody. He had seen the sky lanterns floating in the air and when he had looked back everyone had vanished. What was worst was that he couldn't sense anyone either. The only thing keeping the panic at bay was the voice in his head. It was harsh and could burn, but it was warm too. The sun. Sanzo. As long as that voice was there he knew everything would be fine.

He started wandering around the empty town, trying to figure out what was going on. He wasn't really good at stuff like that. Usually that was more Hakkai's thing. He always could figure things out and then Goku could bash right through.

"Hakkai! Hakkai!"

There was no answer. Then he saw someone running and felt a burst of youkai power. Goku held out his hand, calling his nyoi-bo. Finally, some action! He rushed down the street, turning down corners after the youkai presence. He knew he was getting closer. It was always a step ahead, but he knew he was fast. He'd catch it. The youkai was just around the corner. He turned and he saw her. She sat in the street, crouched down. Goku rushed forward. He raised his staff. Pigtails. He froze.

He couldn't move. He could only stare at those familiar pigtails and something inside him wrenched apart. His held tight to his staff, as if he held on tight enough he could keep it together. Every muscle was ready to swing down, but he couldn't.

The girl turned. Goku stared. It was impossible. His heart was beating so hard, that it drowned out every sound, every thought, except for her. How? Had she somehow survived? There was no way. Could there be?

"Hey, look at this," she said and raised her hands. In her hands she cupped a small bird. "I think its wing was injured."

Goku's grip loosened and his staff tumbled from his fingers. It clattered against the ground. He reached out and wrapped his arms around her arm. Flesh under his hand. Solid. He pulled and kept pulling until she was pressed against him. Solid. Real. Then he was hugging her, hugging her so tight that he knew it must hurt, but he couldn't let go. He didn't want her to slip away. He didn't want to know that there were some things he couldn't protect no matter how hard he tried.

"Stupid! You're going to crush the bird!"

He grinned and it had never felt so good to hear someone call him stupid. He wanted her to say it again, because when she spoke all the memories came rushing back, bright and colorful, and it was at that moment he realized he had started to forget her voice. He didn't want to forget.

He pressed his head into her shoulder and he could smell her scent and sense her presence. "You're real. You're real."

She relaxed in his hold. "Yeah."

"You're real," he said and he knew he was repeating himself, but he couldn't stop saying it like it was some sort of mantra. He felt tears spill down his cheek. They wouldn't stop flowing. And he knew it was stupid to cry, but he couldn't help it. "You're real."

 

***

Sanzo turned his paper and firmly ignored the chocolate sitting next to his empty beer can. He turned the page and tried not to think about why the hell Hakkai kept giving him chocolate. Sweeten his disposition like hell. He read another column, something about the price of eggs being affected by this or that. He frowned and put his paper down and eyed the chocolate. It was annoying and he had half a mind to shoot Hakkai when he got back. Somehow, he was sure the healer had done that on purpose. He grabbed a beer and took a drink. Suddenly there was a clatter in the hall. Sanzo had his gun in his hand and waited. More clatter and then something thumped against his door. He waited, his gun raised, but the thumping continued.

With a growl he stood up and went to the door, snatching it open and was suddenly assualted by white wings slapping against his face. Sanzo swatted at Hakuryuu with his gun. He was an inch away from pulling the trigger to get the damn flying rat off him, but an image of Hakkai's smiling face and cold eyes stopped him. Not that he cared what Hakkai thought, but it really wasn't worth the trouble.

Hakuryuu finally flew away, cheeping at Sanzo with reproach.

"What do you want? If you need something, go find your Master. I'm busy."

Hakuryuu 'ku'ed and then grabbed the end of Sanzo's sleeve and started pulling it urgently.

"What?" Sanzo yelled, growing more and more irritated. "If you don't let go-"

A jolt of pure power shot through Sanzo's body. It was strong, almost on the same scale as Hakkai's, maybe even more so and it was definitely youkai. Sanzo raised his gun and stepped out into the hall. The inn was eerily quiet. It had been like this since the festival had started, since the inn was a little further down from the main event. It was a perfect opportunity for youkai assassins to attack. He wondered if those other three idiots were being attacked. Che, they could take care of themselves.

Sanzo crept down the stairs and into the lobby. There was a clatter. Sanzo raised his gun, pointing it at the kitchen door. The door opened and the innkeeper came out. She gasped and raised her hand to her chest. "Please, don't shoot!"

Sanzo lowered his gun, frowning. The innkeeper relaxed a little, but kept looking nervously at the gun.

"Mama? What's wrong?" A little girl stepped forward, peeking past the innkeeper's skirt.

"It's okay, Ping. Just go back into the kitchen."

Sanzo narrowed his eyes. He glanced at the picture and then back at the girl disappearing into the kitchen. He lifted his gun. "Explain."

"It's part of the festival. When the goddess finds a mate she blesses us with a night with our loved ones."

"You mean she brings back the dead."

She nodded, staring at the gun. "We don't mean any harm."

"So that's what the festival is really about. A whole town filled with idiots that refuse to let go of the past," Sanzo said, disgusted

"She's my daughter," the woman said.

"She's dead. Tell me, what's the price this 'goddess' is asking to bring the dead back?"

The innkeeper looked down, her lips tightening.

"Che." Scowling, Sanzo lowered his gun again. Then he felt a presence behind him. Swiftly, he turned. He heard the clatter of the inn door. "Get in the kitchen and stay there," he barked out and then pushed out of the inn door.

Outside, the street was empty except for one person. His back was to Sanzo and he wore the long flowing robes of a Sanzo priest. A light brown braid slid down his back. For a moment Sanzo hesitated and then gritted his teeth.

"This town is really starting to piss me off," he said.

The man chuckled. It sent a shiver of ice down Sanzo's back. It was so familiar, a laugh he heard in his dreams. He waited for the man to turn, but he didn't. Instead his attention was focused on something in front of him.

"So want to tell me who the hell you are? And don't give me any of that bullshit about being my master." Sanzo aimed his gun, ready to shoot.

"Me, I'm just a memory," the man said. "Isn't there someone more important you should be worried about?"

Even the voice... no not just the voice, but the way he spoke. For a minute, all he wanted was the man to turn, to face him. He wanted to see that face again, even if it ended with him shooting the doppelganger, but the man refused to turn. His hand tightened on his gun. Is that how it was always going to be? Was his last image of him always going to be that wide back? To hell with it.

"Your voice gets on my nerves," Sanzo said and pulled the trigger.

The bullet ripped through the air and for a minute Sanzo held his breath. The man vanished and nothing was left but air. No, not just air.

In the sky was an orange paper airplane. Before Sanzo knew what he was doing he'd lifted his feet and was running. Running. Wasn't that what he was always doing? Running forward, trying to reach his Master's back. He still felt like that boy they had fished out of the river, still trying to catch that last orange paper airplane. No matter the mark on his forehead, no matter how much he drank and smoked, or how much blood stained his hands, he was still the boy they had fished out of the river.

_Tch! What a useless thought._

He was past all that bullshit. Whoever he was -- river rat, Sanzo, or something else -- none of that mattered. All that mattered was the gun in his hand and the next enemy. As soon as he found the person responsible for all this crap he would make sure to put a bullet right between their eyes.

The orange airplane dove down and impaled itself into the dirt. Sanzo rushed toward it. He finally caught up, but when he looked down the plane was gone. Instead three silver ear cuffs lay in the dirt on the border between the town and the swamp. Sanzo crouched down and scooped up the limiters.

"That idiot." His brow creased and he looked into the woods. Either Hakkai took them off or someone had taken them off for him. In either case, the situation wasn't good. Behind him he heard the beat of wings. He turned to see Hakuryuu. "Go find those other two morons."

The dragon let out a reluctant ku before flying back to the town. Sanzo turned back to the swamp and then stepped inside.


	4. Our Distance and that person

Gojyo felt something tickling the back of his brain. It sounded like a bird squawking. No, that wasn't it. Something else. He felt like the answer was right there. He just needed to grasp it. A sharp pain slid over his finger. He looked at his hand. Ashes had fallen from his cigarette. He shook them off and stubbed out the cigarette. How long had he been sitting and looking out at the field of red flowers?

Kougyoku had stopped laughing a while ago and they had simply sat there in silence. Had he ever done that before? Just sat with a girl in silence, without flirting, without touching? It wasn't really his style. He turned to look at her. Her eyes were closed and she had this smile brimming with unfulfilled promises on her lips. Somewhere in the distance he could hear an insistent cooing. What the hell was that?

He ignored it and leaned over. The kiss was warm. She made a small sound that was between surprise and pleasure. Her lips parted and Gojyo slid his tongue inside, tasting her. What did she taste like? He couldn't really say. It was sweet, but tart. All he knew was that when he kissed her it felt familiar. It felt like all those times he had sat back and watched those backs turning away. His parents, his mom, his brother, Barni... Something in his chest clenched and he wondered if it felt the same, whether one was being left or doing the leaving.

He pulled away from those beautiful lips and looked into ruby eyes. She smiled up at him and he wondered if that meant she was happy. He hoped she was. He cupped her cheek, tenderly. He was always tender with the girls, even when saying goodbye.

"So you've decided what you're going to do?" she asked.

"The same thing I've been doing all along," he said and winked. "I'll make my own luck."

"Good answer," she said and just like that she faded away and Gojyo was left cupping empty air. He stared at it. He didn't feel sad or angry. Instead he felt this ache, deep inside of him, as if an old wound had been rubbed raw. It would always be there, but the ache would fade until he wouldn't even notice it. That's how it always was.

He closed his eyes and breathed.

When Gojyo opened his eyes, he wasn't surprised to see a white dragon sitting on his chest 'ku'ing away and slapping him with his wing. Gojyo pushed the dragon off of him. "Yeah, I'm awake."

He sat up and looked around. He was still in the middle of the square. Around him, people slept on the ground, while others were awake and moving about. None of them seem to think it was a big deal that half the people around them were passed out. Gojyo ran his fingers through his hair and stood up. So this was what the festival was really about -- some messed up memories coming to life. A sharp tug on his hair had Gojyo turning and glaring at the flying rat.

"It's that chick I sent with Hakkai. Isn't it?" A stab of guilt went through Gojyo, but he shook it away. He didn't have time to be all gloomy. "We've got to find the monkey."

Hakuryuu sped ahead of him while Gojyo climbed over bodies, trying to find that familiar dumb face. Vaguely he wondered just who Goku was dreaming about, but he was sure he already knew the answer. There was only one person that could be on his mind besides Sanzo. A loud ku filled the air and Gojyo saw Hakuryuu circling and then diving down. Gojyo rushed over. Sitting on the ground with his eyes wide open and staring straight ahead was Goku. Gojyo shuddered at the sight. It just didn't feel right to have him so still. He reached over and grabbed his shoulder, shaking him.

"Wake up, you damn ape."

Nothing. He just sat there, dreaming whatever dream the good old 'goddess' had given him. Panic ran through Gojyo's body. What if he couldn't wake him up? Damn it. Where was that stupid monk? Wasn't monkey wrangling his job? Gojyo slapped Goku against the side of his head.

"Come on. Snap out of it. Hakkai needs us and who knows what's going on with that pissy monk." Gojyo punched him puside the head again. "Wake up monkey! I'm going to kick your ass if you let yourself get stuck. Come on, come on!"

He shook him again and again, the panic rising higher with every second Goku just kept staring blankly ahead. "Stupid monkey. We need you here. Don't you get it?"

Gojyo raised his hand to whack him again but stopped. Tears spilled down Goku's cheeks in a steady stream, like they would never stop. Gojyo lowered his hand and sighed. He slid to the ground and leaned against him. "Don't take too long, monkey."

***

"You think it'll be okay?" Goku asked and his voice filled with worry.

"You mean after you almost crushed it to death?" she said, cuddling the bird to her.

"It was an accident! I just felt so, you know," Goku said, color rising on his cheek. He shifted and rubbed the back of his palm against his shirt.

"Hold out your hands," she ordered.

Goku didn't think about it. He just did it. Gently, she placed the bird into his hand. For a moment, Goku felt nervous as if he might accidentally break it. The bird puffed out and then tilted its head and let out a soft chirp. Goku grinned.

"See, it's going to be fine," she said, giving a firm nod.

"Yeah. It's going to heal up and fly so high that it'll touch the sun. Aren't you fellow?" Goku asked.

The bird chirped in answer. He strained not to hold it tighter. It would just hurt it if he did, but he desperately wanted to hold on, to somehow make it stay -- make her stay. But already he could hear the sharp pounding against him, calling to him, and it wasn't fair that a dream could be so real. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Don't go," Goku said, pleading. He could feel tears sliding down his cheek. He shifted the bird to one hand and wiped at the tears, but they wouldn't stop.

Warm hands cupped his cheek and he felt dry lips press against his forehead. He looked up and she smiled at him.

"You're going to be fine," she said.

Something inside of him shifted into place with that smile. It hurt. He didn't know if it would ever stop hurting, but mixed in with all the hurt was all the good stuff, too. He tried to remember that, to hold on to that, and maybe it would be a little easier to do, because Goku was used to holding on to the good. Goku took a deep breath and placed the bird back into her hands.

"What about you? Are you going to be okay?" he asked.

"Of course, stupid," she said and put her hand on her hip. "Don't worry about me."

He looked at her as if trying to memorize all the bits and pieces of her. Maybe he would forget it all over again, but he'd remember the important parts. That was what mattered most. He gave a short nod. "Then I'm going."

No matter how much he wanted to stay, he couldn't. He still had people he wanted to protect and he could hear them calling for him. So he turned and walked away and made sure not to look back.

When he woke he was bobbing and a familiar voice complained, "Stupid monkey. Why do I have to carry you? Hurry up and wake up already."

"I'm awake," Goku muttered.

Gojyo stopped and immediately dropped him. Goku slammed into the ground, landing on his butt with a thump. "Oww! You crappy cockroach. What did you do that for?"

"You're awake, aren't you? Go and walk on your own then."

"You didn't have to drop me," he said, glaring.

Instead of throwing back an insult like Goku had expected, Gojyo stepped forward and held out his hand. "You okay, monkey?"

Goku looked at him in surprise. Right around the edges of his eyes he could see it - the worry Gojyo would never let on he felt. Yeah, he had people waiting for him. Goku grinned and took his hand. "I'm fine," he said as he was pulled up. "And who you calling monkey, perverted kappa?"

A loud ku interrupted them and Hakuryuu swooped down, circled them, and then hurried forward.

"The flying rat is in a hurry," Gojyo said.

Goku started running after Hakuryuu. "Then hurry up!"

"Hey! I was the one carrying you. I nearly broke my back you were so heavy."

"You've already become a perverted old man," Goku called back.

"Old man! I'll show you who's an old man when I kick your ass."

"If you ever catch up," Goku threw back, running faster. His eyes stayed trained on Hakuryuu. He had to hurry. There were still things he wanted to protect and somewhere out there was the sun.

***

When Hakkai woke up he immediately knew something was wrong. Bloodlust coiled through his body. He could smell the scent of blood and death, and the dank waters of the swamp. He could hear the movement of snakes and crocodiles sliding through the grass. Across his body power radiated and the mild whisper of vines rubbed against his skin. Dread fought with wild ecstasy. His limiters were gone.

He vaguely remembered crossing into the swampland and the youkai pulling off his limiters. The action had been enough to break him out of his paralysis, but she was ready for him. Her spiked forelegs had dug into him until they had pumped him full of her poison and he had fallen into unconsciousness. He assumed he must be in whatever travesty she called home.

"You're finally awake," the youkai said.

Hakkai considered continuing to feign sleep, but with her aware that he was awake he decided he'd rather see the threat. He opened his eyes. They were in some sort of cave. It was damp and dark. Wild plants covered what he could see of the ground, but he couldn't see much else. He was chained down to a stone table, the feel of the cold rock seeping into his skin. He was also completely naked and spread out like a sacrifice. Technically, he supposed that he was one.

"Ah, I was starting to worry that you wouldn't wake up at all," she said and walked over.

His eyes narrowed once he caught sight of her. She no longer had the green forelegs, but was once again Min. Her scent rubbed at his nose. It was the scent of the swamp mixed with something odd, something deep that stirred his base nature. He felt his body responding to the scent and he bared his teeth, growling low in his throat. Fury coursed through him and he yanked his hands up -- or tried to. His body was sluggish, as if everything was moving in slow motion. The poison must still have a hold of him.

She made a soft sound, spindly and sharp. "You are so beautiful."

She ran her hand over his chest and he arched into the touch even as he was repulsed by it. Even the green vines responded to her caress. He gritted his teeth, trying to calm the fever going through him. His want so thick it choked him and he gagged. "I don't want you," Hakkai said. His voice came out in a thick rasp. The words felt strange and heavy on his tongue.

"Ah, but you do. Your body responds to me -- one predator to another," she said and scraped her nail over his nipple.

He arched up and sucked in a sharp breath. It felt so good and so very wrong. He could feel bile rising in his throat even as he grew hard. Min smirked and walked away. Instinctively he reached for her, but the chains stopped him.

"Now, now, patience," she said and started to untie her kimono. "It's rare that I get to indulge in such an exquisite meal. Human flesh is tasty, but there is nothing quite as lovely as a youkai, especially such a powerful one."

She shrugged off the kimono, letting it pool around her feet and stood there, gloriously naked. A sharp pain slid through his body at the sight of her. Even now she looked so much like Kanan and the bright gold hair just seemed to heighten her beauty. At that moment, Hakkai couldn't decide if it was his own desire or whatever poison she had given him that made his heart speed up.

"I know it must be strange to you that I went after a fellow youkai, but I'm different from the others. Feeding and mating are the same for me. It is only natural that I would want to mate with my own kind." She strode towards him, her hips swaying in a gentle rhythm that he found tantalizing. "Did you know that long ago all youkai would search for a mate? Their heat would come upon them and then they would strike out, each one claiming a mate in a wild burst of lust and power. It was beautiful."

She climbed on top of Hakkai, sliding her body along his as she straddled his stomach, her breasts rubbing over his chest as she looked down at him. "One mate until the day they died. Romantic, isn't it? But they have forgotten the old ways. Too long living among the humans has dampened their instincts." She leaned forward and licked the side of his neck. "But not me. I remember them." She raked her nails down his chest, drawing blood.

A soft hiss of pain slipped past Hakkai's lips, but his gaze never left her. Rage, barely contained, shone through his eyes and his look held a promise -- a promise to show her just what she had released from its cage.

She laughed. "Those eyes. So fierce. I'm going to enjoy you and believe me you will too. Can't you feel it? My scent is calling to you. It calls you to pick a mate."

He snarled and fought against the bonds. His movements came a little easier and he automatically slowed them.

"Is there anything about me that doesn't satisfy?" She asked with a pout then gave him a sly grin. "I can always change."

She shifted and instead of blonde hair, brown cascaded over him. Hakkai froze, his heart clenching painfully in his chest. Kanan. She leaned down and touched his lips lightly; so light. He pressed up to touch them again even as his mind shouted at him that it was a trick. She pulled away.

"Which would you prefer? The old love or the new?" Again her body shifted and Hakkai felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

Pale skin slid against his body as amethyst eyes held his. It was a face both beautiful and harsh and contained a lust he had only dreamed about. He ached. How terrible it was to have something he wanted so badly laid over him. He wanted it desperately even though he knew it was just an illusion. That golden hair and whipcord body wanting him, even now, even like this. He closed his eyes, willing the image away, willing himself to not give in. He balled up his fists. Sharp nails dug into his hand and hot blood spilled over his hands.

A warm hand pressed against his cheek. He opened his eyes and it was again Min looking at him and her eyes were almost tender. "I'm not as cruel as I could be. I can give you the past, the present, or a combination of both. It is the least I can do for my mate. And in return, you are helping give people back their lost love ones, making them real instead of just memories."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "Think of this as my gift. Tell me, which form you would like to see?"

For a moment he didn't answer, but then his mouth cracked open. "I-I can't choose. Stay...like this."

"A combination, then." She smiled, obviously pleased. As she slid down his body, Hakkai's eyes widened in panic.

"Wait!" His voice came out sharp and rough.

She paused and looked at him. Hakkai took a deep breath and licked his lips.

"A kiss, before..."

Her laughter filled the dark cavern. "A romantic at heart, aren't you?" She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.

The desire was still there. He held onto it and opened his mouth. Her pink tongue slid against his as she let out a soft moan of pleasure. He made sure all she could feel was his desire mixing with hers.

From the half-choked gasp of surprise, she hadn't realized what was happening until the vines had tightened around her neck. She gagged and clawed at the vines. Hakkai gritted his teeth, watching as she struggled to get out of the trap he had set for her. Her eyes met his in disbelief. He stared back with eyes cold and harsh with hate -- this monster who thought she could be Kanan, who though she could be Sanzo for him. Her arms shifted, and the spiked forelegs swung at him, but he was prepared for them now and more vines snaked out, wrapping around them, pinning them to her sides. He looked at her; this mockery of the people he cared for. This monster could never be them -- could never be good enough for them.

He could never be good enough.

She flopped against him. Her eyes stared at him and he never broke contact. He watched the life fade from her eyes, waited until her body grew still and the spark in those green eyes vanished. Two predators had met and only one had survived. He used the vines to toss her off of him. She flopped on the ground.

Hakkai took a deep shuddering breath as the rage inside him still burned. He grasped at it, trying to gain control of it. His limiters. He needed to get his limiters. He couldn't remember what she had done with them. For a second he wondered if he should just stay there, locked away deep in a swamp, forgotten. Perhaps it would be better. He mentally shook the thought away. No, eventually the minus wave would take him and then what would happen? The village was still close

He sent out a vine. It slid over the youkai's dead body and towards the kimono. There. The keys! He dragged the keys up, fumbling to get them into the first lock. It took a while, but he finally managed to twist it. With his freed hand he unlocked the other chains and slid off the stone table. He could handle this.

Behind him he heard a shuffle and he whipped around. The glint of metal caught his eyes, right before he met familiar amethyst eyes. He didn't need to see Sanzo, however, to know it was him. He could smell the scent of gun oil mixed with ash, and something more. A scent that he imagined sunlight would smell like - clean and bright. It was a scent so pure and all he wanted to do was touch it even if he would leave it tainted. Desire coiled in his body. Was it the effects of the mating call or just his own unfulfilled lust? Seeing the true object of his desire standing there it was even harder to resist. His body struggled with his mind and he could only stand there and look at him, breathing in his scent like an addict who knew that to give in would kill him, but still unable to resist.

"What the hell happened to you?" Sanzo barked out and then held out his hand. In his palm were Hakkai's limiters.

It looked like the choice had been made for him. He barked out a laugh and it was dark and too loud. It carried too much of his hurt and desire in it. He knew he should tell Sanzo to just drop the limiters and leave, but he couldn't and Sanzo was too stubborn to ever be intimidated by him, even like this.

How foolish. He moved.

He was fast, so fast, but Sanzo must have been ready, because Hakkai felt the press of cold metal against his chest and a low threat directed his way. "Don't think you're special."

If only! Then maybe it would be all right. Hakkai leaned forward and as he did he heard the gun being cocked. He didn't try to push it away. Perhaps he wanted Sanzo to pull the trigger. He leaned closer even as the metal dug into his chest. Then he pressed his lips against Sanzo's. It was a light brush, more tender than he ever thought he could be in that form. Even like that, with the poison surging through his veins, he couldn't bear to take, to make another person suffer like Kanan had.

His lips tingled and he felt something surge up inside of him and reach for Sanzo. Desperately, it moved forward against those still lips, searching, and gently probing. There. Something. The lips softened only for a moment and then pulled away. It confused him, but a shiver of something like peace spread through him. The beast inside calmed.

Hakkai turned and rested his head against Sanzo's shoulder. Surprisingly, there wasn't the heat of a bullet, but instead only the cold pinch of metal as Sanzo slid his limiters on. Hakkai closed his eyes and felt the beast slip away.

"Pain in my ass," Sanzo said and though the voice was harsh, Hakkai swore he could hear just a hint of something else there. He tried to make out what it was, but his mind wavered and finally darkness overtook him.


	5. "Ano Sa"

What. The. Hell?

He looked down at the man collapsed in his arms. The naked man who had just kissed him. He narrowed his eyes, taking in the scene -- the dead youkai on the ground, the chains, the stone table, and the pile of bones in the corner. Sanzo could pretty much guess that the bones would all be male. It looked like the idiot had gotten himself taken in by some damn succubus. A twinge of something -- definitely not worry, maybe irritation -- slid through Sanzo. What had the succubus managed to do to Hakkai before he'd gotten free?

"Sanzo! Sanzo!" Goku's shout interrupted his thoughts. "Sanzo! Oww, what'd you do that for?"

"Would you shut the hell up, or do you want the youkai to know we're coming? Stupid monkey!"

"I'm not stupid, you perverted cockroach! You're as loud as me!"

"No one can be as loud as you, you damn monkey."

"Stop calling me a monkey!"

"Monkey, chimp, gorilla!"

"Pervert, cockroach, kappa!"

Sanzo gritted his teeth and turned, dragging Hakkai's unconscious body with him. Pointing his gun, toward the cave entrance, he waited. The voices got closer and as soon as he saw the flash of gold and two red antennas, he fired. "Why don't you both shut the hell up! The whole swamp can hear you!"

"What the fuck, you damn monk! You could have..." Gojyo's voice trailed off as he took in the sight of Sanzo holding up Hakkai. He could tell by Gojyo's expression that the idiot was already jumping to conclusions.

"Hey Sanzo, why's Hakkai naked?" Goku asked, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Idiot! Go get his clothes instead of standing there gawking."

"I was just asking," Goku mumbled and walked past him.

"Where is she? Where's the youkai?" Gojyo asked, his voice strained with anger.

"She's dead," Sanzo said, meeting the cockroach's eyes. He noticed that despite the rage on Gojyo's face, his eyes held a hint of guilt. Damn, he didn't need this crap. "Hakkai killed her."

Gojyo hesitated and then took a step closer to Sanzo. "Is he...? Did she-"

"He's fine," Sanzo said sharply, cutting him off. "Don't ask me stupid questions and figure it out for yourself."

Gojyo's eyes roamed over Hakkai's naked form. Sanzo narrowed his eyes. Had the pervert's gaze lingered? The kappa finally looked away, his shoulders sagging in relief. There was still the guilt on his face, but it wasn't as close to the surface as it had been before. Hakkai only had bruises on his wrists and ankles and no extra fluids on him to indicate anything else had happened. Of course, that only meant that no obvious physical damage had been caused.

The kiss. Had the youkai caused that reaction or had it been some weird thing with Hakkai's demon form? Hakkai started to slip from his grip and Sanzo realized that he had begun to raise his hand to touch his lips. He swiftly dropped his hand, pulling Hakkai up.

"I'll carry him, Sanzo. Wouldn't want your holiness to strain anything," Gojyo said mockingly, but Sanzo knew the kappa was offering more because he felt he needed to do something.

Gojyo walked over to take Hakkai and Sanzo subconsciously took a step back. A flash of confusion passed across Gojyo's face. Sanzo blinked and then shoved Hakkai towards Gojyo. "Whatever." He walked out of the cave, but he could hear the two morons behind him.

"Wow, she's got green arms. Looks kinda gross," Goku said.

"Would you stop staring and bring his clothes here," Gojyo said irritably. "I don't plan on having him flash the whole town."

Sanzo ignored them and pulled out a cigarette. Hakuryuu was waiting outside and when he saw Sanzo, he shot past Sanzo and into the cave, obviously in a rush to see his master. That was just fine with Sanzo. He preferred to enjoy his cig in private. He lit up and took a long drag and tried not to think about the kiss and why the hell he hadn't pulled the trigger when Hakkai had rushed him. He wasn't a fool. In that moment of hesitation, Hakkai could have strangled him with his vines. So why had he hesitated? He scowled and took another long drag on his smoke. He wasn't going to think about it, and he certainly wasn't going to think about why he'd almost shot the damn kappa when he'd tried to take Hakkai away from him.

"Shit," Sanzo dropped his cigarette and grounded it out. "Come on you two idiots and bring the baggage with you. We've wasted enough time."

After much grumbling and a few gunshots later, they were driving out of town. Sanzo had refused to stay another moment in that place. Surprisingly, the other two didn't put up much of a protest. He glanced at Goku. The monkey was strangely quiet, only stating he was hungry a few times. Sanzo glanced at him and then he looked at Hakkai. He still hadn't woken up and he knew the other two were worried. Sanzo turned back to the front seat.

"Shit, I can't see a damn thing," Gojyo said, running one hand through his hair in frustration.

"Don't get us killed with your shitty driving," Sanzo said, shifting in his seat and pulling back the urge to turn around.

"Screw you," Gojyo said as the jeep jerked over another bump.

"You really are useless," Sanzo said as he lit up.

"Fuck you. I don't see you getting off your holy ass and doing anything," Gojyo said with a glare.

"Really? I think I had things well taken care of before you and the monkey showed up," Sanzo said with a smirk.

"What the hell does that mean?" Gojyo shouted.

"Yeah, Sanzo," Goku said, piping in. "If that creepy lady hadn't stuck us in those dream worlds we would have been there sooner."

"Not my fault if you two are too dumb to tell the difference between reality and an illusion."

"What are you trying to get at, you dumbass monk?" Gojyo asked, his voice growing louder in anger.

Sanzo was a second from pulling out his gun when a scolding, but tired voice came from he backseat. "Now, now, it's not polite to shout when a patient is trying to rest."

"When did you become a patient?" Sanzo asked with a sneer, not bothering to look back.

At the same time Gojyo whipped his head around, relief apparent on his face. "Hakkai!"

The jeep swerved dangerously.

Sanzo whipped out his fan and slammed it against Gojyo's head. "Watch the road!"

"Hey! I got it!" Gojyo said, turning back to face the road and straightening out.

"Ha, ha, perhaps it might be a good idea to stop for the night, before we crash into something," Hakkai said.

"Don't tell me you don't trust my driving either, Hakkai," Gojyo said.

Sanzo snorted and leaned back in his seat.

"It's not that, Gojyo, but it's very dark and we've all had a long day. Don't you agree, Sanzo?"

Sanzo finished up his cigarette and flicked away the stub. "Che, if it'll keep the damn cockroach from killing us."

Before Gojyo could retort, Hakkai clapped his hands together and even though Sanzo hadn't turned to look at Hakkai, he could imagine that fake smile curling his lips. "Wonderful. If you can turn right up here, Gojyo, I think there is a nice clearing we can rest at."

"How the hell did you even see that?" Gojyo asked as he followed Hakkai's directions.

"Huh? I can see it too. Something wrong with you eyes?" Goku asked, leaning forward.

"Something wrong with your brain?" Gojyo retorted as he parked the jeep.

"Hey! Take that back!" Goku shouted and reached over, the headrest, trying to get to Gojyo.

Sanzo's seat was jerked from the tussle and he immediately smacked both of them with the fan. "Both of you shut the hell up!"

"Hey! What'd you do that for?" Gojyo asked, glaring at him.

"Oww, why do you have to hit so hard?" Goku asked and Sanzo could hear the pout in his voice.

"Well then, I think it's too dark to make a proper camp, so we should probably sleep in the jeep." Hakkai gently patted the side of jeep. "I hope that isn't asking too much, my friend."

A soft ku answered him back. Sanzo grunted and then turned to Gojyo. "Get out."

"What?" Gojyo asked.

"You heard me. I don't need you groping my ass while I sleep."

"Sorry princess, but you're not my type. I like them with a lot more curves." Still, Gojyo climbed out of the front seat and traded places with Hakkai.

As soon as the healer was back in the front seat, a tension that Sanzo didn't even know he'd been holding faded away. Just Hakkai's presence seemed to calm him. He frowned. Calming? When had the demon become a calming presence? He stuffed that thought away and buried himself deeper into his seat.

"Hey Sanzo, I'm hungry."

"Didn't I tell you to shut the hell up?" Sanzo barked.

"I believe there are some left over meat buns in one of the bags, Goku," Hakkai said.

There was rustling in the back and then a mumbled 'thanks Hakkai.' It was only a few seconds before the two idiots started arguing, first about food and then shoving each other for more room. Sanzo reached up and whacked them with the fan a few times before they finally settled down. Despite their antics, there was an almost subdued air about them all. After a few moments, Goku's snores filled the air. Sanzo closed his eyes having every intention of waiting until the cockroach had fallen asleep and then having a talk with Hakkai, but before he knew it, he had drifted off.

He woke up to soft whispers and warmth.

"Really Gojyo, I'm all right," Hakkai said. "It's not your fault."

"But I pushed you to go with that chick," Gojyo said.

"None of us knew what she was, and more than likely she would have come up with another way to kidnap me. From what I gathered, she is most determined when she sets her sights on someone."

"But you're sure you're all right."

"Yes Gojyo. I'm actually more concerned about you and Goku. Didn't he mention something about you two being stuck in a dream world?"

"Ah, so you heard that," Gojyo said and Sanzo could hear him shifting in the back. "It was nothing."

"I seriously doubt it was nothing," Hakkai said, his voice cold. "I saw what she could do."

"Ah shit, she... fuck, that's messed up Hakkai."

"It's fine. After all, I rewarded her for her trouble," Hakkai said and Sanzo could almost see the creepy smile on his lips.

Gojyo laughed nervously. "I guess so."

They were both silent for a while and Sanzo found himself starting to drift back to sleep.

"It wasn't a big deal. They were just memories. I'm long over that shit," Gojyo said, his voice filled with fake bravado.

"Then you are much stronger than I am," Hakkai whispered, right before Sanzo fell asleep once more.

When Sanzo woke up again it was still night. It had been a dream that had woken him, one filled with vines. They had surrounded him as they'd slid over his body, wrapping him in their caress. However instead of panicking or trying to fight his way through, he'd sunk deeper into them. Their warmth had seeped through every part of his body, whispering promises of breaking through the icy barrier that surrounded him and wrapping him in warmth. He hadn't wanted what they had to offer. He needed the cold ice that surrounded him. The cold barrier gave him the distance and control he needed.

Still, he could feel the warmth. He frowned. How could he still feel it if he was awake? His eyes snapped open and he realized he was leaning against Hakkai. He shot up in surprise, glaring at the healer. He felt heat creep up his skin, but he forced it down. Instead, he studied the healer's face, searching for any hint that he was awake. Seeing none, he relaxed.

What was wrong with him? He fished out a cigarette and lit up. Taking a long drag, he turned over his dream in his mind. Had the kiss in the cave really thrown him off this much? It took a real effort for him not to grab his fan and start beating Hakkai with it in retaliation. He was sorely tempted, but there was really no point in doing it and letting on that he was still thinking about that kiss. As a matter of fact, he wasn't thinking about it. Screw that dream. It was over and it meant nothing.

He lifted his hand to take another drag on his cigarette. He looked at his gloved hand. In his dream, the vines had grown from his wrist and had slowly climbed over his body. He exhaled a long cloud of smoke and looked at his hand again. He waited until he'd finished his cigarette before sliding the top half of his robe off. Lifting his left arm, he started peeling away his glove.

The black gloves slid away, revealing pale skin and sinewy muscle, but not a single vine. He growled in irritation. It was stupid. It had just been a dream. He yanked the rest of his glove off, and his eyes widened. Immediately he turned and grabbed Hakkai by the shirt, shaking him.

"Wake up, you fucking bastard."

Hakkai's eyes snapped opened in alarm. His green eyes immediately focused on Sanzo's angry face. His brow creased in confusion. "Sanzo? What's wrong?"

"What the hell did you do to me?"

"Sanzo, I don't understand what you're talking about," Hakkai said, his voice calm and soothing as if he were trying to calm a wild animal. It just pissed Sanzo off even more.

"I mean this." Sanzo raised his arm. Around his wrist was wrapped a single loop of green vines.

Sanzo watched Hakkai's face closely, so he saw the genuine surprise that crossed his features. So it hadn't been on purpose. But even if it had been just some fucked up accident, he couldn't ignore the way Hakkai's expression shifted into a smug smile that seemed liked it would belong more on Gojyo's face than the healer's.

"Ah, you know..."

The fucker was pleased. What the hell? He was going to kill him.


	6. The Space Between Dream and Reality

He must have been still partly asleep. It was the only reason Hakkai had that could explain the deep satisfaction that went through him at the sight of the single loop of green vines around Sanzo's wrist instead of alarm. The feeling itself was raw and instinctive, but that was no excuse. He liked to think he perfected hiding that side of him behind a smile.

Hakkai realized Sanzo was staring at him. He looked even angrier than before. Hakkai tried to school his expression into one of concern. He very deliberately took Sanzo's wrist and started examining the marking. It was both to get a better look as well as to prevent Sanzo from reaching for his gun.

"It's not real. It actually appears to be a very realistic tattoo."

Sanzo clenched his teeth. "That's not the point. Explain to me what the hell it's doing on my wrist."

"Ah ha ha, that's an interesting question," Hakkai said.

Sanzo yanked his wrist away and then went for his gun. He clutched it in his hand but kept it pointed at the ground. Nonetheless, the threat wasn't lost on Hakkai. "You have thirty seconds to explain."

Hakkai shrugged and tried not to be amused by how Sanzo's attachment to his gun reminded was reminiscent of a child with a security blanket. "I wish I knew. I suppose it might be some sort of aftereffect from the youkai." Hakkai bit his lip, hesitating for a moment and wondering the best way to explain. He did have an inkling as to what might have happened, but he needed to word it just right. "There was something interesting she said before her demise."

"Spit it out," Sanzo said as he ran his free hand over the marking, touching it lightly, almost stroking it.

"She stated that long ago, all youkai would chose a mate. They would go into heat. From what I've gathered, it looks like she stimulated that ingrained nature of the youkai she chose before killing him."

Sanzo's eyes narrowed as if he knew where the conversation was going.

Still, Hakkai trudged on. "Even though I killed her, I must have still been in heat and when you came into the cave, I suppose I imprinted on you."

"And how do we get rid of it?" Sanzo asked, his trigger finger twitching. He still hadn't seemed to notice that he was still stroking the marking.

"The only way I'm aware of is death. Ah ha ha," Hakkai said. It was true. She had said they mated for life, but Hakkai figured that telling Sanzo that would more than likely just get him a bullet in the head.

Sanzo's ground his teeth and looked down at his gun, obviously contemplating his options. At the same time, he finally noticed that he had been stroking the marking again. He jerked his hand away as if he had been stung, then he glared at Hakkai. "I'm not keeping this thing on me, so start thinking. I plan to get it off one way or another. Clear?"

"I quite understand," Hakkai said.

Sanzo gave a clipped nod. "And wipe that stupid expression off your face before I shoot it off."

Hakkai blinked and then realized that he had been smiling, but not his usual one. This one was close to a leer. Hmm, I really have to gain control. This could be... troublesome.

Sleep was a lost battle after that, and Sanzo, being the considerate person he always was, woke everyone up and said they were moving. There were complaints, but soon they were back on the road again and heading west. The next town was three days away according to their sometimes-reliable map.

Due to their rush out of town, some of their supplies was left behind, but most of it was there and would fortunately, last them until the next town. Strangely, the stretch from the previous town to the next was a quiet one. There were no youkai assassins jumping from trees or bushes, just an eerie quiet. Hakkai frowned. He wondered if it was the praying mantis youkai that had caused this or something else.

The thought of her made him think about how strangely quiet it was in the car. Gojyo and Goku would argue half-heartedly before slipping into their own thoughts. He wondered what exactly happened to them to cause it. He glanced in the rear view mirror to see them both looking thoughtful, maybe even a little sad, but besides their abnormal quiet they seemed all right. Perhaps it was just something they needed to think over. Still, he would keep an eye on them.

His attention on them was a small distraction from the real situation on his mind. Sanzo was currently sitting as far as possible as he could from Hakkai without climbing into the backseat. It might have been annoying if not for the way every once in a while Sanzo's fingers would trail to his wrist, stroking the spot where the vines were hidden underneath the black sleeves.

Just the thought of the mark sent a shiver of pleasure through Hakkai, and a part of him felt guilty about it. Unwittingly or not, he had marked his friend as a mate against his will. It was a horrifying violation, but a bigger part of him wanted to kiss the gloves, to pull them off and lick every leaf that pressed over the pale skin.

Eventually, Hakkai realized he was staring at the spot instead of the road. Not only that, but Sanzo was watching him do it, too. He started to apologize, but that's when he noticed the almost glazed look in Sanzo's eyes. His brow furrowed in confusion.

"Sanzo?"

Sanzo jerked to attention and his head snapped up. He glared at Hakkai as if he had done something wrong, which he supposed was true.

"Is something wrong?"

"Just keep your damned eyes on the road," Sanzo growled out. He pulled a cigarette from his packet and placed it between his lips.

Hakkai looked back to the road, but a few seconds later his eyes drifted back to the sight of the long white cylinder Sanzo lips wrapped around it, sucking in a long drag. Hakkai was not a fan of smoking, but he couldn't help finding the entire act erotic when Sanzo did it. He appreciated the soft sucking of smoking, followed by pulling out the stick to let out a long stream of white smoky release.

Sanzo removed the cigarette from his lips with shaky fingers, interrupting the image dancing in Hakkai's head.

"Fuck," Sanzo breathed out.

"What is it, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

Sanzo looked momentarily dazed and then turned away, looking pointedly away from Hakkai. "Didn't I tell you to watch the road?"

Hakkai blinked and quickly focused on the road. He was surprised that he'd managed to not drive them into a ditch with as little as he was paying attention. He had never been this distracted before. Perhaps, Sanzo wasn't the only one who'd been affected by the mating. Though Hakkai didn't feel physically different, he wondered if there was something not so apparent happening on his side of their predicament, too.

Shortly after, they stopped for lunch and Sanzo stormed off alone. Goku looked confused and then hurried after him. Hakkai watched them go with a mixture of amusement, worry, and annoyance. Honestly, he couldn't explain why he had half of those emotions or maybe he just decided it would be the best for everyone concern not to look too closely at why.

"What's up with you and the monk?" Gojyo asked, fishing out a cigarette.

"I'm not sure what you mean," Hakkai said, pulling out a few items for lunch while mentally going over their provisions and how he might be able to stretch them, just in case the map wasn't as accurate as he would have liked.

"You two have been acting strange. I can't put my finger on it, but Sanzo's a lot more pissed off than usual."

Hakkai shrugged. "We have all been a bit strange lately. You and Goku have both been very quiet."

Gojyo nodded. "Good point. That youkai really did a number on us. "

"I think we're all still adjusting to what happened."

"And how's that going for you?"

Hakkai blinked and then tilted his head. "Surprisingly well."

"Shit. Usually you're the most fucked up of all of us. No offense," Gojyo said, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"None taken," Hakkai said with a laugh. It was strange. Usually, given the events that had occurred, he sould be more upset, but it was like a part of him had calmed. He was still angry about the youkai and how she used had Kanan and Sanzo, but this growing part of him didn't seem to care enough about it to react further. All it cared about was Sanzo. He felt a shiver of alarm run through him at the thought, but it quickly passed as the familiar scent of sunshine, blood, and ash, entered the camp. Without thinking, Hakkai took another sniff, this time smelling the scent of green. He smiled.

"Hakkai, you sure you're all right?" Gojyo asked, gently placing his hand on Hakkai's shoulder.

"Yes, quite sure," Hakkai said, smiling. He ignored the strange look Gojyo gave him and continued making lunch. He felt good; better than he had in a long while. There was still this itch inside him, something primal, something that was hunting, but right now, all he could do was wait.

He would claim what was his eventually.


End file.
